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Hey fellow dawgs ... I lost my job today. I had been working there for 12 months. In time for my yearly review, I got the boot for under performance. I was surprised by it. First time in my working life that I've been fired. So, to the other fellow dawgs that have been terminated (wrongfully or rightfully  ), where do I go from here? I've started updating my resume and have 2 good leads. My question is: Should I feel guilty and sad about getting the boot or think of it as a new beginning? What I don't want to do is offend people who think I should be moping around. That's not me. What do you guys think? What are your experiences with being fired?
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I'd think of it as a new beginning. You were questioning if you really liked your job in the first place a few months back, right?
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Yes. It has been no secret to dawgtalkers or my fiancee that I disliked my job, but I still tried to work my butt off because I know it's a tough job market to get the boot. Well, in my termination letter today, my boss cited the fact that "many people could tell" I did not like working there. He said "go and find something that makes you happy" as he helped me clean out my office. I never told anyone I was unhappy, but I guess I couldn't fake it enough and people saw right through it...
Does anyone have experience in an interview when the interviewer asks why you left your last job? Does getting fired for under performance look horrible or what...
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New beginning. I would however look at their claims of under performance seriously... by that I mean, even if you think you were doing a good job, they didn't think so.. you need to do a little self-assessment and see why they had that perception and make sure it doesn't happen again.
I was fired for "not pulling my weight" from a company many years ago, small contractor with 7 employees, I was the only PM and I had the feeling that they were in financial trouble because they let 3 of us go within a couple weeks and had no plans of hiring anybody else. So in my interviews I told my potential employers the truth about why I was let go as well as my feeling about their finances. A couple days later I got a call from my old boss telling me that they were fine financially and he would make sure I never got another job again (which means he greatly overestimated his influence in a city as big as DC..) A month later I had a good job and 4 months after that his company went out of business.
Good luck though. Sounds like you have a good outlook. As a guy who does a lot of interviews, going in with confidence and a positive outlook is very important.
yebat' Putin
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It is absolutely an opportunity to find an even better job. Good luck finding a great new job. 
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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Quote:
Hey fellow dawgs ...
I lost my job today. I had been working there for 12 months. In time for my yearly review, I got the boot for under performance. I was surprised by it. First time in my working life that I've been fired.
So, to the other fellow dawgs that have been terminated (wrongfully or rightfully ), where do I go from here? I've started updating my resume and have 2 good leads.
My question is: Should I feel guilty and sad about getting the boot or think of it as a new beginning?
What I don't want to do is offend people who think I should be moping around. That's not me.
What do you guys think? What are your experiences with being fired?
I wasn't aware this happened. sorry to hear about it.
Indeed.com is a good place to start looking. Of course, the Monsters and the Careerbuilder type sites. Of course, after updating your resume.
there is work out there..
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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For what it's worth... My girlfriend has been pretty much without a job for a year. It finally sounds like next Monday she will be getting one (as long as this interview goes well) In the middle she worked for one company for 2.5 months. She hated it badly, she didn't want to quit because of how bad the job market is(she has a masters and still can't find work easily). She came home pissed off all the time and crying. The long and short of if is... I made her quit because she wasn't happy. If she gets this job... it's the one she really wants doing what she really wants to do and people spend more time at their job than they do at home.
Hunter + Dart = This is the way.
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What you should take away from this, is that your unhappiness with your job was a LOT more noticeable than you had thought at the time. Whether or not this actually affected your performance (it probably did), and whether or not this affected the performance of those around you (it probably did) is something you should give some deep thought to. We have discussed here many times a "locker room cancer" and it would appear that you may have become one.
Finding something you are happy with, and enjoy doing, is important and desirable. However, it is not essential and paying the bills IS. Being able to convincingly fake sincerity is a necessary life skill to work on.
The only time I've been fired was somewhat similar, a place I had become very unhappy with. Been there 4-5 years, the first 3 were great, policies and procedures changed and it became too stressful. Had a disagreement with the boss a few months before so I knew it was coming, and frankly I didn't care.
The economy was better then, I had business cards already printed up and the next morning I was out soliciting clients as an independent. New wife, new baby, new mortgage, I was a bit stressed. Went to a business I had just bid a new installation to, told them I was independent, he stops me and says "Can you do this whole install yourself?" I said "absolutely", he says "hold on", gets on the phone, calls my old company and cancels his order, turns to me and says "How big a check do you need?"
That check did not just mean getting my new business off the ground. It meant Survival. Food, clothing, shelter. That was a big day.
One of the reasons I got that order was that NONE of my customers had any idea whatsoever that I was unhappy at that company; I did not allow it to affect my work. I was ticked off on my own time.
Honestly, in this economy, you may have committed a major mistake in not smiling while eating your crap sandwich. BUT, it's a done deal, Learn From It, and move forward. You can't go backwards, and you can't stand still; there is no other choice.
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Sorry to hear it, but I think that this is definitely a case of new doors opening for you.
G'Luck!!
Browns is the Browns
... there goes Joe Thomas, the best there ever was in this game.
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On the bright side somewhere there is a job opening for someone ....lol j/k
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BE MY GUEST!!! 
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Think of it as a new beginning, I've been given the boot on a few occasions, jobs come and go.
LET'S GO BROWNS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/OldSixty-Two/new0400001.jpg) [b]WOOF WOOF[b]
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My thoughts are that you shouldn't limit yourself by location. Don't eliminate a job because of the pay rate. Taking a job with a lower pay rate isn't always a bad step, but you shouldn't sell yourself short just because you're looking for a job either.
I'm not sure you care to say, but I'm intrigued to ask what you did in your job. I'm in Syracuse and I'm not sure I can help.
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I got fired 4 years ago, and I still maintain it was wrongful termination (And the state of Ohio unemployment agreed).
But, it was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've been at my job now ever since and I couldn't be happier.
Stay positive. Another opportunity will open up.
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I don't mind talking about it. I was the operations manager for a drug testing laboratory. I don't have a science degree, but I had worked in facilities management a couple years back and also had some I.T. experience.
I had make one big mistake in the past year and my boss (CEO) referenced that again in my termination:
1) Trying to fix a problem, I deleted a batch of drug test results in our database. We had to hire a SQL programmer to fix that problem which cost the company money.
But he also said in my termination meeting that he knew I was not happy in my current job. I lied and said I was happy, but he said he had already drawn up the termination documents and his decision was final.
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Legend
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Quote:
I don't mind talking about it. I was the operations manager for a drug testing laboratory. I don't have a science degree, but I had worked in facilities management a couple years back and also had some I.T. experience.
I had make one big mistake in the past year and my boss (CEO) referenced that again in my termination:
1) Trying to fix a problem, I deleted a batch of drug test results in our database. We had to hire a SQL programmer to fix that problem which cost the company money.
But he also said in my termination meeting that he knew I was not happy in my current job. I lied and said I was happy, but he said he had already drawn up the termination documents and his decision was final.
You can't hide discontent.. it's really hard. it creeps into little comments so he probably figured it out. No Sin there. it is just what it is.
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Hmmm, it sounds to me that even deleting a series of files shouldn't be a big problem. Our company saves all our documents every evening and any changes made would be resorted back to the previous day (at worst).
We all complain a lot because there has been all kinds of server problems as they've migrated a number of times and have now moved everything over to a Linux server.
However, what happened to you hardly sounds like a major problem.
I can tell you a funny story about a time at my wife's former workplace. She was friends with the I.T. guy, who got fired. Their new I.T. guy was an engineer. Needless to say, he screwed something up and couldn't figure anything out. Our friend, the former I.T. guy had set up a Linux server and the new guy had 'unmounted' a drive. They couldn't figure out what to do. It was as simple as using the 'mount' command and describing which drive to mount.
They asked him to come back and do it for them 'pro gratis' and he refused. He wanted them to sign a maintenance agreement. They refused. So, my wife described the weeks that they spent rebuilding the information that they had lost.
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All Pro
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I will warn you Buckeyed11...you are gonna have bad days and good days as you work for employment.
I had this "dream job" in the industrial gas industry. In my position,there might be 50 of us in the USA that do that job. Very specialized.
that kind of job is not like being a constuction worker or warehouse clerk. They are very few.
well my company decided to consolidate operations down South. Close all of our branches.
at the midnight hour,another bottled gas company came in and decided to partner up at our NE Ohio branch. well they overhauled operations.
guess what,that resulted in my job and 6 others going bye bye.
I know this from experience...you will get called in for interviews and HR people act like your resume is the greatest and you are the perfect fit.
but HR people might be all smiles and blah blah...."oh we will call you back if you do or don't get the job"
B.S..96% of the time if you don't get the job,they won't call you or email you back.
stay strong.
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It sounds like you truly expected your boss to believe your statement that you were happy in your job. Are you freaking serious? After a year of being obviously unhappy, did you expect such a bald-faced lie to get positive results? IMO, if you had any chance at all to keep your job, this one action eliminated all possibility.
Also, before editing a critical database, did you take it off-line and make a backup first? That is correct procedure, if you did not follow this, then you did it wrong. If this had been done, then everything could be put back EXACTLY the way it was before you messed with it. FIRST, DO NO HARM.
I'm going to be brutally honest here. On the basis of what you have said in this and the other thread, I personally would not hire you nor even waste my time to grant you an interview. IF you backed up that database first, then you might have a shot as your dishonesty and lying were not directly job-related. If not, however, dishonesty PLUS incompetence is not a desirable trait in an employee.
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Judging from what you've said so far in this thread, I doubt he'd want to work for you anyway. Are you really a jackass or do you just play one on the Internet.  Just being "brutally honest" here...  
[color:"white"]"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."
-- Mark Twain [/color]
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I would not hire me for an I.T. position either. I don't have any formal training in it. I never said i did either. He found out that I fix and build computers on the side so he said I would work on I.T. stuff too. I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing that, but he said he would work closely with me and train me. In my response to my termination, I reminded him of such.
And yes, there is a backup, but to put the backup into production would have required us taking our database down to do so, and we cannot afford to do that during the middle of a work day. With thousands of people hitting our database, taking it down would have caused a nightmare. And yes, we would need to take it down before putting the backup into production.
We receive hair drug samples in the morning, weigh them, and then data enter the persons name, soc, type of test requested, etc. AFTER we data enter, then we can start screening them. However, I deleted a batch while it was in quick data which meant that they could not be screened yet. So, we need to fix it ASAP because people were stuck waiting on that batch. So, we could not have taken the whole thing down, run the backup, and go from there. Could not have done that because other people are already working in that database as well. So, we had to contact our hosting company and luckily they had a SQL programmer on staff who could re-insert that batch sequence into our database so we can work with it again.
And for the dishonesty thing, do you really think if i answered it honestly he would have said "oh ok, you don't like working here so I won't fire you?" At least attempting to lie and say I do like working here gave me more of a chance than 0%.
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You have it backwards. A clearly obvious lie offers 0%. An honest answer might at least have gotten you a less-than-negative referral. What you have now is a previous employer who may very well label you as dishonest, deceptive, and untrustworthy.
What you did with the database is shut down the production line. To a business owner, this is unacceptable. This should have been done after hours, or by someone who knew what they were doing. You should have understood the risk of lost productivity and explained them to your employer; and/or simply refused to do work beyond your capability. It is far, far better to admit "I don't know how to do that" than to admit "I screwed up". This last is still preferable to saying "I didn't do it."
To Lifer - Nearly everyone else is telling this individual that what he did is just fine and dandy. I do not share that opinion. As for being a Jackass, I don't share that one either, but more importantly, NO ONE who pays me for my labor has EVER had such an opinion, nor has any ever considered me dishonest.
As for your opinion, I frankly don't give a damn. Telling someone that doing sub-par work and lying to their employer is acceptable Is not something I am going to stand idly by and make no response to. If you don't like it, TS.
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To reply to your "should have been done after hours" comment:
They had a problem with the data entry. The new girl data entered stuff into the wrong batch. I thought "i'll just delete the batch and have her start over" so I deleted it and told her to start over. Then, I get the call that she can't start over because it's a SQL box. You can't just go back and reenter that same batch number. It's an automated system.
Also, this was done within the first 2 months of my employment. I was just trying to fix it the way I know how.
My boss handed me the termination letter and said "i know you don't like working here." I lied and said "yes i do" and he said "well we've still made our decision." So yes, you can say I lied, but I will say I was just fighting for my job.
He has since texted me and said I can use him for a reference. He said I am a great guy, but just a bad fit at that company. I told him I agreed and left it at that.
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how long have you been in the human resources business.. with all your insight, you must be very well experienced 
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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And also Nelson, I never asked for sympathy or said that I was wrongfully terminated.
I started this thread to ask "where do i go from here" and see what other experiences people have had?
To be frank, I am somewhat relieved. I will not be filing for unemployment, however, as I don't believe in that. Me losing my job was my own fault. I know that. But I am ready to move past it.
I am not sure I want an office job again. I think I would be perfectly fine hanging drywall or driving a truck.
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Legend
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Quote:
It sounds like you truly expected your boss to believe your statement that you were happy in your job. Are you freaking serious? After a year of being obviously unhappy, did you expect such a bald-faced lie to get positive results? IMO, if you had any chance at all to keep your job, this one action eliminated all possibility.
Also, before editing a critical database, did you take it off-line and make a backup first? That is correct procedure, if you did not follow this, then you did it wrong. If this had been done, then everything could be put back EXACTLY the way it was before you messed with it. FIRST, DO NO HARM.
I'm going to be brutally honest here. On the basis of what you have said in this and the other thread, I personally would not hire you nor even waste my time to grant you an interview. IF you backed up that database first, then you might have a shot as your dishonesty and lying were not directly job-related. If not, however, dishonesty PLUS incompetence is not a desirable trait in an employee.
I'm going to be brutally honest. Your post was not brutally honest. It was condescending and gives me the impression you have some sort of chip on your shoulder, so you've decided to take it out on someone you don't know on the internet.
I also see you chasitising him for a situation you were not there to witness, where the only facts you knew were the ones that were posted in this thread. I know nothing about IT, but if someone were to talk about a legal situation, I sure as hell wouldn't lambast another attorney before I knew the full story.
I don't see one post on here that says what he did was "fine and dandy," nor do I see him searching for validation. I see him asking people how to view it and most of the posters giving advice to maintain a constructive outlook.
I honestly see no value or point to what you posted outside of self-righteous validation or chastisement. If that's wrong, please enlighten me.
Blue ostriches on crack float on milkshakes between the sidewalk titans of gurglefitz. --YTown
#gmstrong
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The OP Flat-Out LIED to his boss, and in such a blatant way that he might as well have told his boss he thought he was stupid.
That is either a good employment strategy or a bad one. NO ONE ELSE has stated, clearly and plainly, that lying to your boss is unacceptable. My business principles clearly define this action as cause for immediate termination. To not mention this at all, in any way, is akin to condoning the action.
I find it fascinating that the OP states that the boss texted to say he was a great guy and would give him a good reference. He apparently believes this completely. This would be the man who absolutely hated his job, and with the his employer obviously knowing this, said (falsely) that he was happy there. That is an insult to his boss's intelligence, assuming he has some. After this deceptive behavior, a statement which clearly can NOT be taken at face value, he accepts his boss's statement in just exactly that way. I'M terribly unhappy, but no one can tell. I just told a blatant lie, but nobody else would do that.
The OP believed his dissatisfaction was hidden, when it was not. He apparently believes his lie was not obvious, when it almost certainly was. I would bet money that he has never considered the following, but his former boss has - Would an employee who liked his job and his boss, and was happy, be MORE likely, or LESS likely, to damage a critical database and cost the company a lot of money?
You want to dump on me, fine. Answer that question or STFU.
You want to tell him he has done nothing wrong and has nothing to correct, great, have at it. IMO that's a load of crap. Bad attitude is infectious and reduces productivity, also can lead to very direct negatives like theft or sabotage. It's also a lot more difficult to hide than many think. Either learn to hide it or GTFO. NO EMPLOYER WANTS THAT IN THEIR SHOP. Lying to your boss is BAD. Lying to your boss when you KNOW that he knows you are lying is out the door on your ass right NOW bad. Might be OK for a used-car salesman, but not if you can't do it convincingly.
You all want to tell him that all is daffodils and rainbows, you're right, I think that is stupid. Worse, it does NOTHING to help the OP correct his issues. Not ONE of you complainers has taken the time to tell him what the correct procedure would be. I outlined proper procedure for working with a large, complex database. I told him he wasn't fooling anyone about his attitude. I told him lying to his boss is a BAD idea. These concepts will be helpful in the future. Not making these corrections is likely to lead to a negative outcome. By NOT making this clear, you are implying these actions are acceptable and won't cause a future problem.
That's the way you treat a child, not an adult. Treating an adult as though they were a child is usually viewed as something called condescension.
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With respect, please go back and re-read my post because, based on your response, you either completely missed the point of it or just want to read into it what you will.
I restate, nobody is saying lying to his boss is rainbows and daffodils as you put it. In fact, it is wrong, you are correct. The point of his post and this thread is how he should view getting let go from his job, so many people are trying to support their fellow Browns fan poster by telling him to remain constructive.
So please make sure you understand what I'm at least saying and do not put words in my mouth before you tell me to "STFU."
Blue ostriches on crack float on milkshakes between the sidewalk titans of gurglefitz. --YTown
#gmstrong
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If I made one single statement that is either inaccurate, non-factual, or not based on sound business principles, please point it out.
IF, repeat IF, lying to your boss is indeed a bad thing, reading this entire thread without my posts and without your last one, a reasonable individual would get the impression that nobody thinks so in this group. That would be because, other than the exceptions noted, no one said a single thing about it.
The question I asked, and you failed to answer, was carefully designed to point out, clearly and obviously, how his behavior and attitude directly impacted his employer's perception of his value to the company. The above paragraph applies to this principle, as well, except that you did not mention it; only me.
Moving forward after a screw-up involves an examination of the screw-up. Failing to do this invites the same thing happening again. If the same thing happens a few times, the OP is going to find himself un-employable and living in a cardboard box. Trying to prevent that is helpful; making no effort whatsoever to do so is not.
Reality is often harsh. Confronting it is often unpleasant. It is easier to just tell people nice things to make them happy. This leads to a repeat of the same story.
I am often harsh. I am often unpleasant. I have had similar conversations with a number of people, who usually got royally pissed off. The vast majority have later told me "Thanks, I needed that. Nobody else told me what I needed to hear."
There was one young man in particular where I did not follow this procedure. I tried to be positive, supportive, and non-critical. I did not tell him what he really needed to hear, nor did anyone else. He's dead and buried, a direct result of doing things I should have Hammered his ass about and I did not. I failed that young man; while this situation is less serious, IMO you are all failing the OP in a similar fashion, for similar reasons. You want to be nice, you want to be his friend, when what he needs is a swift kick in the rear.
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Quote:
My question is: Should I feel guilty and sad about getting the boot or think of it as a new beginning?
Feel guilty and sad. Then think of it as a new beginning. No harm in feeling sad - just don't let it become the over riding feeling.
Quote:
What I don't want to do is offend people who think I should be moping around. That's not me.
What do you guys think? What are your experiences with being fired?
I was fired from a pretty decent job just over 10 years ago. New ownership - I had been the manager. They walked in my office and said "see ya, we're bringing in our own manager. We're from the city, and we know how to operate more efficiently than you rural people." (interestingly enough, they went out of business 3 years later...........the "city" way doesn't cut it here.)
I was sad, moped around, angry...........and those didn't pay the bills, so I got a different job, that I hated. Which led to me getting the business I now run, and love.
Had I not been fired, I'd still be doing the other job (probably). I make more money, I work less hours, and overall have less stress.
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Legend
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Now I can at least see where the chip on your shoulder comes from and I am sympathetic to that. However, it isn't your place to post like you did. I guess you had a much closer relationship with that young man. The OP, as you call him, probably doesn't know you that well, and you were not directly or closely involved in his employment situation. He didn't ask for your input in that regard, so it is not your place. It's like people without kids who are not related to me giving me advice on how to raise my son. They don't know me or my son, so they should know their place and not overstep their boundaries.
I think I'm a pretty reasonable person, but I didn't get the feeling what he did was justified in reading most of the posts in this thread.
I also don't mean to shy away from your question. My first instinct is that the employee would be more likely, but then I reflect on my current job, which I love, and I make mistakes. Would I make more mistakes if I hated it...possibly, but I don't know for sure. Plus, I know nothing about databases.
Let me posit this though: there can be success through other ways than just kicking in the ass, which can have its own drawbacks. I worked for a law firm where the managing partner threatened to fire people all the time, even other partners. His approach was that he was not there to be nice and wanted "to keep everyone on their toes." There were 30 attorneys in that office, with 25 attorneys coming and going. Some leaving after only 2 - 3 months and running for the door. Many who left were excellent attorneys.
All the exits, including my own, pointed toward his harsh management style. Oddly, enough, when I left, he pulled me into his office and was shocked that I was leaving, and asked me why. I was almost dumbounded that he even asked. I told him very honestly why I was leaving. He told me he was sorry I felt that way and wished me the best of luck, and we parted ways. So let me ask you, is a harsh "kick-in-the-ass" management style that breeds turnover good for the overall financials of a company/firm? There are many different successful management styles.
Let me also ask you, how many people on this board do you think have lied to their boss at some point?
Blue ostriches on crack float on milkshakes between the sidewalk titans of gurglefitz. --YTown
#gmstrong
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Probably a high percentage, approaching 90% or more, BUT - I'll bet you could count on the fingers of one foot the number who committed such a clear, blatant, and obvious lie and are still employed at the same place.
Recently, I had to explain to someone why it is that telling your boss to eff off is not a good idea. He had apparently gotten to the age of 25 with no understanding of this concept. I further had to explain why doing this in front of the factory rep for one of their most important product lines is a really, really bad idea.
Speaking of place - Respectfully, who the hell put you in charge? I explained my reasoning on how what I have discussed is relevant to his original question. Is there something in that you have failed to understand? I would assume most people here do not know the man personally. For Whom, exactly, is this lofty position reserved? He apparently knows at least some people who are telling him he should mope around and feel sorry for himself. That's actually problem number two, number ONE is that he is concerned about offending such people. Me, I'd tell them to get the hell out of my way.
What he did was not justified or condemned, except by me. It was not addressed at all, in any way, shape, or form. If you don't like the way I am commenting on it, fine. Either state flatly that his conduct is nothing he should be concerned about, DO something about it yourself, or get out of my way while I do what needs to be done.
I have a pretty good idea what you are going to say - "you're right, these issues need to be addressed, but you didn't have to be so mean". Heard it before, and I'll hear it again. Mostly from people who will take NO ACTION to do anything about it themselves. The above is pretty close to a direct quote from the dead boy's mother, whom I was telling to quit making excuses for him, and shielding him from every adult responsibility. I told her she was going to mother that boy right into an early grave, and that's exactly what she did, a few months later.
If you were to post on a public forum about your son, you might actually get advice from this woman, be it her "place" or not. I did not see "Nelson can't answer this question", or "I only want to hear positive thoughts, with warm and fuzzy tones". I didn't ask for your input, either.
Who defines these "places" of which you speak?
Who will STEP UP and tell this man, in polite, supportive, warm and fuzzy, non-judgemental tones, what he did wrong, why he lost his job, and point out where his version of reality is completely wrong?
Cue the crickets.
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OP
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Quote:
The OP Flat-Out LIED to his boss, and in such a blatant way that he might as well have told his boss he thought he was stupid.
I lied to him AFTER he had already given me the termination papers. I was just trying to save face, in a desperate attempt to maybe change his mind.
Trust me, I am critical of myself and I feel embarrassed that I lost my job. However, I know for a fact that every morning I look in the mirror, I am proud of who I am and where I have come from. I have been through a lot of tough times in my life (just like other people) and the one thing I learned from it is not a crime to like who you are.
I value your opinion and I have read every word of each and every response, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with you.
Life is not black and white. Just when you think you know what you're doing and where you're going, life will throw you a curveball. Am I proud for lying to him in a last ditch effort to save my job? No, I am not proud of that. I will learn from it and move on. I should have said "yes, you are correct. I am not happy here." However, like I've said before, that gives me 0% to save my job. Sometimes in life, little white lies are what move things along. I've lived long enough to know that while honesty is the best policy, a little white lie such as "no, you look fabulous" to your wife of 50 years who's losing her hair to chemotherapy helps move life along. Like I said before, life isn't black and white, sir. There is an ebb and a flow to life and it is always changing. That's the one thing that never changes about life. It always changes. Sometimes it changes for the better (like I am hoping), and sometimes it changes for the worse.
In the end, I am still proud of who I am and I still like who I am. You are not in my situation or know anything about me. I know that, but do you?
As far as the tough attitude and tough approach, that's all fine and dandy (choice words). I have played competitive sports all my life and I am used to that. However, in this situation, I don't need tough love. You will never be as tough on me as I am myself. I never asked if I did was right or wrong. Some people live life defining what they do as "right or wrong," but I live in reality. The line between right and wrong is just as blurred as the line between black and white. You cannot sit here and tell me that in every situation there is a right and a wrong. Well, you can say it, but I won't believe you. Life is full of surprises, twist and turns, and not everything works out the way it should in terms of "right and wrong."
I just want to know the experiences people have had with getting fired.
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Quote:
Who will STEP UP and tell this man, in polite, supportive, warm and fuzzy, non-judgemental tones, what he did wrong, why he lost his job, and point out where his version of reality is completely wrong?
And you haven't either. There's a polite way to tell him negative things and you have not accomplished that. You have been abrasive and combative instead.
Had I wanted to tell him he was in the wrong, I probably would have approached it by saying something along the lines of "perhaps you could have done x, y, z instead - you may have had a different outcome" And just so you know, I manage a team of 15 directly and 125 indirectly. I'm not just speaking out of my butt here. Heck, when my boss is looking to soften the blow of counseling an employee, she comes to ME to ask how it can be done because she doesn't want to come off as abrasive, but rather as constructive.
![[Linked Image from i75.photobucket.com]](http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/lrhinkle/d5eaf0b9-e429-4211-b53f-b843bfcf6aa9_zps2ac17420.jpg) #gmstrong
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OP
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Here's a question for the dawgtalkers...
I spent 5 years working my way up the corporate ladder.I got as high as Operations Manager. Now that I've lost my job (one I didn't care for either), here is my question/comment:
I don't know that I want another office job. A big part of me is saying I should go be a waiter, bartender, construction worker, etc. I used to think I needed a job to define me, but now I realize what a big pile of mularky (thanks Joe) that is.
What do you guys think? Does a loving family, amazing friends, and a good hobby outweigh trying to make lots of money?
Btw, credit to Office Space for giving me some hope. And I am not talking about burning the building down, but instead, working a blue collar job instead of dealing with the Bobs of the world. lol.
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Legend
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Legend
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Quote:
Here's a question for the dawgtalkers...
I spent 5 years working my way up the corporate ladder.I got as high as Operations Manager. Now that I've lost my job (one I didn't care for either), here is my question/comment:
I don't know that I want another office job. A big part of me is saying I should go be a waiter, bartender, construction worker, etc. I used to think I needed a job to define me, but now I realize what a big pile of mularky (thanks Joe) that is.
What do you guys think? Does a loving family, amazing friends, and a good hobby outweigh trying to make lots of money?
Two completely separate, unrelated, things.
Making money isn't about defining you, it is about providing for the loving family, doing things with the amazing friends, and paying for the good hobby.
Money cannot buy love or happiness, but a lack of it sure as hell can go a long way toward a down-payment on anguish, misery, and strife.
More marriages fail over money woes than ANY other reason.
Browns is the Browns
... there goes Joe Thomas, the best there ever was in this game.
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OP
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You are absolutely correct. Good points.
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Legend
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I think it depends on what you want your lifestyle to be. Unfortunately, it does seem to be one of those situations where most people need to give up on one side to make advances on the other. However, if you, and your spouse, are okay with living in a small house on a smaller budget, then you'd probably be much more amenable to having an easier job.
Blue ostriches on crack float on milkshakes between the sidewalk titans of gurglefitz. --YTown
#gmstrong
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After reading Nelson's posts over the years he's been here I'm firmly convinced that at least half of them are pure BS and the other half are generally used for trolling purposes. In other words, I'm pretty sure he's coachb's brother....... 
"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
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Legend
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You seem to be set on the fact that you need to work for someone else. Do you have an entrepreneurial spirit at all? Just asking, since you seem to get bored with conventional work. Lots more excitement and fun in starting your own thing, and the sky is the limit depending on your own ideas and hard work.
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Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Lost my job today
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