DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Legal advice- child custody issues

This is regarding my brother and his son.

He's got a son who'll be 4 Christmas time. He's been having issues with his ex regarding seeing him. They currently have no court orders about who gets to see him when. Now, I don't think very highly of this girl at all. IMO, she's a gold digger who is looking out only for herself, and trying to get out as much money as she can from him.

The last couple of weeks, she's refusing to let my brother see him on his days off, which is the weekends. He would get him Saturday, Sunday, and bring him to her house on Monday. Now she says he only gets to see him every other weekend. Basically because she says so.

And she's the type of person you have to walk on eggshells around. If he ticks her off, she'll find another way to keep screwing him over.

Can she do this? Can he show up at her house and say he wants to see him? He called her 2 weeks ago to see him, and all day long she wouldn't answer her phone. He drove over, and of course she was there. Today, he calls to try to pick him up. Again she refused to let him see him, while my nephew is crying in the background wanting to see his father. He is looking into getting a lawyer for this, along with my next issue.

When my brother moved out from her a few years back, he used my address temporarily. For some reason, his child support stuff gets sent here. He received something last month and he wanted me to read it to him over the phone. Apparently, they are increasing his child support. Problem is, he is barely paying his bills, while his ex is living in a pretty damn nice house with a fenced in back yard, in ground pool in a nice area.

When I opened the letter, it said her income last year was $14,000.

Yet she owns a house in a nice area, 2 story, in ground pool, private back yard, on $14,000...... This girl works 2 jobs, but only claims one on taxes. She bartends, and between tips (which I'm sure she doesn't claim all of it) and wages, she makes as much as my brother does, yet only filed for $14,000 last year. My brother was listed as making $35,000.

She tells my brother and my mom to their faces that every so often "they adjust his child support." She had nothing to do with it. So my brother goes to court for it, fuming because he's getting screwed and telling her that she's lying about her income, and of course, she doesn't show up. When he is there, they tell him his increase was because SHE CALLED THEM to tell them he received a raise, and thinks he should have his child support increased.

Oh yeah, on top of it, she was getting food stamps and welfare at some point. Not sure if she is currently, but when they dated, she was. It really ticks me off knowing that she is working my brother so bad on this, as well as working the system, getting free money so she can live it up.I know my brother doesn't say much to me about it, but apparently my mom had said he broke down in front of her about it. He's been stressed out, and doesn't even know how he's going to buy any Christmas presents right now. His child support comes out directly from his checks, so he's always paid up.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry about your brother. Doesn't it just suck when things like this happen ? A good friend of mine is somewhat in the same position. He never married the girl he has a 9 year old daughter with. Now because he has a girlfriend and he's talking about marrying her the mother of his child has not let him see his own daughter the last few weeks. He has been a great father to her so it's really too bad. In fact the Mom is playing stupid games now like arguing with him on the phone while she lets the daughter hear on the other line. My bro is like this is between us why is she on the phone ? They have been civil for 9 years and now he's thinking about getting a lawyer which is really a shame,all it does is hurt the kid. It sounds like your brother might be heading down the same road and getting some representation may be wise,my best wishes for him 017.

My brother isn't a perfect angel. He's done stuff in his life he isn't proud of. He has straightened up a lot, and he definitely is a good father to his son. I know his son a lot of times wants to be with him instead of his mom, and my brother would do anything for him.

I hope for both of their sakes that she either comes to her senses or things are handled as they should be.

A friend of mine is going through the same thing.He went down to the courthouse and filed for an arbitration. She has 14 days to reply..She can refuse to go and if she does that unfortunately means he has to take her to court.I dont know if this prosses is the same in the states.The important thing my friend said is to document everything: phone calls,texts and times she actually lets him see his child.I hope this helps out a little.

Been there, done that. I'll give some advice after the game. It involves a lawyer and getting things done according to the law. Even in "good" divorces, for the sake of the parties involved, it HAS to go through the legal system............so things like this do not come up.

Your brother has to be very careful with this girl and make sure everything he does is through the courts and documented. He should not do any type of deals or agreements with her that does not have the child support authority as a witness.

I have a buddy who has a son who is now 15 or so. Him and his babys momma( ) split up when the kids was about 3 years old. My buddy(who I admit is not the smartest dude in the world) thought he would be a stand up guy and just pay child support on his own, without going to court. Every two weeks when he got paid he would give the mom more money from his paycheck than she would get from child support if they went to court. They had a agreement between them and he stuck to it. Well when the kid got to be about 10 or 11 she started asking my buddy for money for tuiion to a private school that was connected with this cult like church she attended. The church and the school were in some guys basement. My buddy refused. So the mom went to the courts and said my buddy hasnt paid child suppot in seven years. My buddy showed them the checks that he gave her every two weeks. They told him, anything that he gave to her without a child support order was considered a "gift". This guy ended up getting stuck for $25,000 for back child support. The courts cut him a deal and told him if he paid $15,000 right then he could clear it. So he took a loan for $15,000 and gave it up, and the skank got a check with in a week. She took the $15,000 and took off for Arizona with the cult leader and gave the money to him to make a down payment on their " church", which is a WACO type compound. He went to the courts and complained about not getting to see his son because she moved him out of state. They told him that she could do that because there was no visitation agreement. About a month later he gets a call while we are at work that he needs to come to the CLeveland Greyhound bus station and pick his son up. His mom decided she couldnt care for him and dedicate herself to the church at the same time, so she took hom to the bus station and sent him back to Cleveland without telling anyone he was coming. My friend ended up being able to get custody of his son, he tried to get his money back but that was just impossible.

The last he heard from the mom she had a child with the "pastor" and was pregnant with another.


KING

That, my friends, is why in any divorce or seperation issue, it MUST go through the court system. No if's and's or but's.

When it is legally documented, you have rights. When it is a personal agreement, one parent may very well get raked over the coals.

Also, when their is a court monitered issue concerning money, it makes it much easier to prove - i.e. a parent claiming $14,000 in income when he/she may in fact earn 2 or 3 times that amount.

Any, ANY seperation or divorce MUST go to the courts. It protects each person, and more importantly, the kids.

Geez, sad story. Thanks for the advice so far guys.

Sorry to sound like everybody else, but, your brother's gotta get a lawyer dude. People say that custody of the child usually goes to the mother, but, if your brother can prove that his son's mom is a scumbag then he might get custody.

My buddy was awarded custody of his daughter because he was able to demonstrate that his daughter's mother is a complete drug addict scumbag.

Have your brother talk to a lawyer.

Talked to him today, and yes, she is collecting welfare and food stamps. And she's only claiming taxes on one job to keep her income looking low to have it, as well as get a nice chunk of my brother's money in child support.

Wow, greedy little *&^%#.

Damn, if I can have a house like that on welfare, I'm doing something wrong.

Muni and arch are right. This HAS to go through the courts. I had the same set-up with my ex. The state of Fla. requires that both have to claim their income and then figures the percent each "pays" of that total amount. Well I wanted to be a standup guy and payed the first 6 or 7 in cash...but I made her sign a receipt...

Lo and behold she got stupid and said I didn't. Her word against mine and I'm taking a day off to show them the receipts in court. They laughed at her.


Everyone but the state knew she was under-reporting her income and on drugs and after a few months of "you can't see him this w/e" or "we're busy all Christmas", I had enough.

I went to a lawyer, told him I had little money and wanted my son. He actually tried to talk me out of it !

I found out that he would accept a 20 year Promissary Note ( I honestly believed those were only in Monopoly) and $5K later my boy was with me permanantly. He hired a PI and caught her buying crack. That was it.

On a side note, when my son got to be a sports star and scholar in high school, I invited her to come live with me, get a job, and find a place so that she would not miss this important part of his life.

She did and then when he wanted to stay with her his senior year...she wanted child support !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I reminded her that she paid me none for 12 years and she got quiet....so long story short...


Definately get legal help. There are ppl out there to help us little guys...

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Definately get legal help. There are ppl out there to help us little guys...

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Yes there are. I'd suggest contacting the Fatherhood Initiative.

http://www.fatherhood.org/