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#263422 05/03/08 03:43 PM
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Thought this was kind of an interesting article...

I currently go to college and live in a two-bedroom apartment with a girl. That's a little different than being in the same dorm room I'd think (two bedrooms, and she has a second half bath attached to her room), but I tend to think it works out pretty well.

I know a lot of students around here have been pushing for this the last couple years, especially the LGBT groups.
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One boy, one girl -- one dorm room

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/02/coed.dorm.rooms.ap/index.html

AP) -- Erik Youngdahl and Michelle Garcia share a dorm room at Connecticut's Wesleyan University. But they say there's no funny business going on. Really. They mean it.

They have set up their beds side-by-side like Lucy and Ricky in "I Love Lucy" and avert their eyes when one of them is changing clothes.

"People are shocked to hear that it's happening and even that it's possible," said Youngdahl, a 20-year-old sophomore. But "once you actually live in it, it doesn't actually turn into a big deal."

In the prim 1950s, college dorms were off-limits to members of the opposite sex. Then came the 1970s, when male and female students started crossing paths in coed dormitories. Now, to the astonishment of some baby boomer parents, a growing number of colleges are going even further: coed rooms.

At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose, including someone of the opposite sex. This spring, as students sign up for next year's room, more schools are following suit, including Stanford University.

As shocking as it sounds to some parents, some students and schools say it's not about sex.

Instead, they say the demand is mostly from heterosexual students who want to live with close friends who happen to be of the opposite sex. Some gay students who feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the opposite sex are also taking advantage of the option.

"It ultimately comes down to finding someone that you feel is compatible with you," said Jeffrey Chang, a junior at Clark in Worcester, Massachusetts, who co-founded the National Student Genderblind Campaign, a group that is pushing for gender-neutral housing. "Students aren't doing this to make a point. They're not doing this to upset their parents. It's really for practical reasons."

Couples do sometimes room together, an arrangement known at some schools as "roomcest." Brown explicitly discourages couples from living together on campus, be they gay or straight. But the University of California, Riverside has never had a problem with a roommate couple breaking up midyear, said James C. Smith, assistant director for residence life.

Most schools introduced the couples option in the past three or four years. So far, relatively few students are taking part. At the University of Pennsylvania, which began offering coed rooms in 2005, about 120 out of 10,400 students took advantage of the option this year.

At UC Riverside, which has approximately 6,000 students in campus housing, about 50 have roommates of the opposite sex. The school has had the option since 2005.

Garcia and Youngdahl live in a house for students with an interest in Russian studies. They said they were already friendly and didn't think they would be compatible with some of the other people in the house.

"I had just roomed with a boy. I was under the impression at the time that girls were a little bit neater and more quiet," Youngdahl said. "As it turns out, I don't see much of a difference from one sex to the other."

Garcia, 19, admitted: "I'm incredibly messy."

Parents aren't necessarily thrilled with boy-girl housing.

Debbie Feldman's 20-year-old daughter, Samantha, is a sophomore at Oberlin in Ohio and plans to room with her platonic friend Grey Caspro, a straight guy, next year. Feldman said she was shocked when her daughter told her.

"When you have a male and female sharing such close quarters, I think it's somewhat delusional to think there won't be sexual tension," 52-year-old Feldman said. "Maybe this generation feels more comfortable walking around in their underwear. I'm not sure that's a good thing."

Still, Feldman said her daughter is partly in college to learn life lessons, and it's her decision. Samantha said she assured her mom that she thinks of Caspro as a brother.

"I'm really close to him, and I consider him one of my really good friends," she said. "I really trust him. That trust makes it work."

~Lyuokdea

Last edited by Lyuokdea; 05/03/08 03:43 PM.

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Why not, you know. It doesn't hurt anything.

I met my wife in our dorm. There were 6 girls living across from us and she was one (Before we dated I loved co-ed dorms hehe) and we shared a room 2 years after that. I think it's good b/c it will teach you to respect and get along with the opposite sex. Plus if she's (or he for the ladies) hot,,bonus lol


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Quote:

. Samantha said she assured her mom that she thinks of Caspro as a brother.

"I'm really close to him, and I consider him one of my really good friends," she said. "I really trust him. That trust makes it work."

~Lyuokdea



Silly girl


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At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose, including someone of the opposite sex.




All the conservative schools I see....


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I'm not for it or against it, whatever happens happens.

I could see it being advantageous for a gay guy to live with a girl though. Not my own personal opinion, but some people are bigots.

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I'm the same way Ammo... don't really have a feeling either way... can see the advantages, and as long as they are not forcing people to live in co-ed rooms then there's no problem...

I def see an advantage for homosexual individuals who may feel more comfortable with a member of the opposite sex.


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I agree with you and Jay. As long it's not compulsory, I see no problem with it.


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How about a Dad sleeping on the floor in a set-up like that?


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How about a Dad sleeping on the floor in a set-up like that?





LOL that is what I was thinking, I dont care for it. I dont think it is appropriate for a dorm setting. If a BF and GF want to live together they should get off campus housing.


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I'll give it one month...then it will be on.....ha..ha...


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This is a tough thing for a parent. I have a daughter and a son in college and I would be very uncomfortable if they were in that situation.

I will just say this. As w/every other temptation or obstacle that comes their way........I just have to trust their judgment. I tried to raise them to make wise decisions. Hopefully, all that work paid off. I think teaching kids about right from wrong and about making responsible decisions is what you do as they are growing up. Once they do become of age..........you just hope they have it.


Right now, I can advise them on things, but I can't make them live a certain way. I could take away all of their money away, but that would be like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Thus far, I have been pretty lucky that I have two good kids. But, they are at an age where they are facing new temptations daily. It's a little hard not having control over the things they do anymore. Like I said.......I just have to trust their judgment.

Note to parents w/younger children. Raise 'em right while their young and you'll more than likely reap the rewards later. You won't change them when they are in their late teens or early twenties.


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Well said Vers. My problem if my daughter ws staying in a dorm room with a boy would not be trusting her but more trusting him. I know how boys that age can be, hell I know how I was at that age.

Another problem I see with this and think in the long run schools will not do it because of the possible legal repercussions. All it takes is on bad situation where a girl gets raped and a nice lawsuit and schools will re think ths policy.


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You would be hard pressed to see someone win a lawsuit over a rape case where the two people willingly contracted to room together.

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And this isn't something new......here's an article from 2002:

http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyle/20020226dorms26P9.asp

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Quote:

You would be hard pressed to see someone win a lawsuit over a rape case where the two people willingly contracted to room together.




Your just having a good time folowing me around from thread to thread , arent you??

What you have said makes logical sense, have all lawsuits, even winning lawsuits made logical sense? People make choices all the time that make no sense and recieve damages from the outcome of those choices and sue, sucessfully quite often. Even if they do not win the lawsuit, it will cost the university much money to address the lawsuit and in the meantime there is a good chance the University will recieve bad press. Hell people have made the choice to smoke and yet have sued the cigarette manufacturers. Not saying it is right, but it happens.


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I don't see what the fuss is about. IMO the law pretty much states "two consenting adults".

I mean if they can put a gun in your hand and let you fight in Iraq? I would think you're old enough to share accomidations with a female or visa versa.


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Quote:

This is a tough thing for a parent. I have a daughter and a son in college and I would be very uncomfortable if they were in that situation.

I will just say this. As w/every other temptation or obstacle that comes their way........I just have to trust their judgment. I tried to raise them to make wise decisions. Hopefully, all that work paid off. I think teaching kids about right from wrong and about making responsible decisions is what you do as they are growing up. Once they do become of age..........you just hope they have it.


Right now, I can advise them on things, but I can't make them live a certain way. I could take away all of their money away, but that would be like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Thus far, I have been pretty lucky that I have two good kids. But, they are at an age where they are facing new temptations daily. It's a little hard not having control over the things they do anymore. Like I said.......I just have to trust their judgment.

Note to parents w/younger children. Raise 'em right while their young and you'll more than likely reap the rewards later. You won't change them when they are in their late teens or early twenties.




Not gonna lie, I've really liked your tailgate lot posts the past couple months. Your thoughts sound exactly like the teachings of my parents and how they raised me.

Yes, you can hope and pray for the best. Trust their judgement. Some of the things may seem eyepoppingly bad and/or out of control, but trust me when I say it's just a college thing. They'll grow out of it, at least we think/hope we will.

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Speaking as a former college-aged boy, I would definitiely NOT want to live with a girl I want to have sex with. Unless we were already in a long-term relationship, it would be a horrible idea. What's that they say about don't eat where you poo?


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Well said Vers. My problem if my daughter ws staying in a dorm room with a boy would not be trusting her but more trusting him. I know how boys that age can be, hell I know how I was at that age.




I understand. And I guess I wasn't very clear. I should have said that I would hope that my daughter has enough sense not to room w/a member of the opposite sex. And to tell you the truth, I would hope my son wouldn't room w/a girl either.


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Quote:

Now, to the astonishment of some baby boomer parents, a growing number of colleges are going even further: coed rooms.




I think it's funny that the baby boomer generation made it's reputation breaking every rule and pushing the limits of every societal norm you can name and now they are just astounded that future generations want to keep pushing..

On a side note, I would not, under any circumstances, want to share a dorm room with my girlfriend. What happens when a week or two into the semester you break up then you are stuck with them for the rest of the semester/year? That would suck.


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