DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk The Smack Shack Just For Michigan Week

funny... though kind of a cheap shot... nice to see the guy take a bow

i think i was at that game, was that at northwestern last year?

My personal favorite:

Wrong forum.


Typical OSU fan.

Yeah, I know what forum I'm in.

It's Michigan week, and I tend to get a little more fired up, so I disobeyed the rules.

lol

Just a reminder as to where this year's battle is being played....

Something seen at the Michigan state line: Welcome to Michigan property of Jim Tressel.

How do you make Michigan cookies? Put them in a big bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Annoucement overheard at Michigan home game: Attention, will the parents from Ohio please come to the playing field. Your kids are beating Michigan 24 - 0 again.

Nice vid. That'll pump ya up for the game this weekend!!!!

Vid from last year.....

Q: How many University of Michigan freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a senior course.


No matter what happened last Saturday.. it's Michigan week!

Go Bucks!

Quote:

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Q: How many University of Michigan freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a senior course.

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I actually thought it was part of their Masters program.

Type "Chad Henne is a Joke" into youtube, catchy little tune...

Here are a few good ones.

Three Ohio State fans and three Michigan fans are traveling by train to their Bowl games. At the station, the three Michigan fans each buy a ticket and watch as the three OSU fans buy just one ticket. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the UM fans. "Watch and learn," answers one of the OSU fans. They all board the train. The three Michigan fans take their respective seats but all three OSU fans cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor says thank you takes the ticket it and moves on. The UM fans see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip, but see, to their astonishment, that the three OSU fans don't buy any ticket at all!! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Michigan fan. "Watch and learn," answer the OSU fan. When they board the train, the three Michigan fans cram themselves into a toilet, and the three OSU fans cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the OSU fans leaves their toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the Michigan fans are hiding. The OSU fan knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate? A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Did you hear about the Wolverine fan who was so upset that the Buckeyes beat Michigan that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out his basement window?

It was reported that Michigan head football coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing twenty players for the Ohio State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Did you hear that the University of Michigan library burned to the ground? All five books in the library were destroyed. The football team was very upset because they hadn't colored in two of them yet.

Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor? A: Columbus: 187 Miles

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this the OSU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.

Q: What does the average UM student get on his SAT? A: Drool

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy next to him replies,"Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6 ' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Michigan grad. The fella next to him is 6 '5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Michigan grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q. What type of car does Jim Tressel drive? A. A Lloyd Carr. Jim Tressel owns Lloyd Carr!!

Columbus, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Franklin County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Michigan Wolverines, who the court determined are not capable of beating anyone.

It's 7:19 p.m on Tuesday night...and there is no doubt in my mind that tSUN still sucks!

Just wanted to put some Georgia in this thread

But, then again God is a bit of a homer.

What michigan player(s) do you hate the most?

1. Woodson - hate watching him on tv and what he did to our Buckeyes.

2. Hart - never shuts up. Hope he finishes his career 0-8 against tOSU and in bowl games.

3. Biankabatuka - Never heard from him after that game

4. Howard - I hate that pose.

Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?

A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.


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One day in an elementary school in Ann Arbor Michigan, a teacher asks her class if the Michigan Wolverines are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Ohio State Buckeyes."

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Buckeye fan, my mom is a Buckeye fan, I guess that makes me a Buckeye fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Michigan fan."


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One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign--we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."


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Q: What do Michigan and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!


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Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.


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Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.


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Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.


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Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.


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Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?

A: A visitor.


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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.


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Q: Why should the University of Michigan change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.


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Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?

A: Drool


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Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Wolverine?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.


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General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?"

After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."


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Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours


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Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.


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Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.


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Ann Arbor News Report: Football practice in Ann Arbor was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field.

The head coach, Lloyd Carr, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.


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Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"


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It was reported that Michigan head football coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing twenty players for the Ohio State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.


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Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.


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Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?

A: Columbus: 187 Miles


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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"

Seeing this the OSU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.

Michigan ran out of ice early in the year. It turns out the guy who knew the recipe left the team.

Here ya go, Buckeye fans...




Good luck.

O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio
We're from Ohio...O-H
We're from Ohio...I-O
O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio

1460 Days since scUM were able to smile

Bye bye Lloyd, it was nice knowing ya, you will be greatly missed.

And the SCUM seniors have NEVER beaten the Buckeyes!

Why do they even bother showing up? They should just drop down a level and join 1-AA. Oh wait, that didn't work out too well for them either...

What a joke!!!

Well, on a sad note, Lloyd Carr will probably no longer be coaching. It was nice having Tressell abusing him for 4 straight years.

Should be interesting to see who they get... think Les Miles would want ot leave the talent in LSU for UM?

UM better pay out the nose if they want him.

I was listein' to ESPN radio last week...and the guy on there was saying how when a team knows it's coach is leaving after the bowl game they almost always lose that game(he went through about 5-10 coaches and how they lost their games, it was nuf to convince me..hell look at michigan losing when they kno Carr was bout to leave)....anyways, so he said if OSU beats Michigan it will be Carrs last game...and then Less Miles will get the call frm Meechigan...and if he does decide to go after the season LSU will lose the national title game against whoever it plays.....


With oregon losing...and OK on the ropes tonight OSU is inching closer everyday GO BUCKEYESSSS



Yes i know thts a long long long shot but it made me smile anyway!