DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Everything I know about college football...I learned in 3 weeks

A funny article from southern florida.

By GARY SHELTON, St. Petersburg Times Sports Columnist
Published September 19, 2007

Everything I know about college football ... I learned in three weeks

For instance:

Yes, he worked for Bill Belichick, but I think we can safely absolve Notre Dame's Charlie Weis of stealing defensive signals.

If we are going to think of Tim Tebow as Superman, shouldn't we at least refer to Percy Harvin as "The Flash"?

Personally, I think Phil Fulmer is going to have great success in 2008. On the other hand, I think he will have it as the Tennessee regional sales manager for Reebok.

Even with all of the impressive coaches added to Bobby Bowden's staff in the offseason, for the time being the most important FSU assistant is still Mickey Andrews.

Ah, yesterday. It's just like old times for Southern Cal. The team is winning. The tailback is running. And O.J. Simpson is in handcuffs.

When you think about it, was it the victory over Auburn that vaulted USF into the Top 25? Or was it the win over that more impressive Elon opponent?

Remember that clunker you drove in college? Turns out, it wasn't a lemon. It was a Lloyd car.

Notre Dame owes Tyrone Willingham an apology. And while they're at it, maybe Gerry Faust, too.

For those of you thinking that Weis needs more time, consider this: He's been on the job as long as Urban Meyer.

Impressive win by Miami over FIU over the weekend. I rank the Hurricanes No. 6 ... in the state (behind Florida, South Florida, Central Florida, FSU and Florida Atlantic).

The reason Oklahoma feels good about its NCAA appeal? The Sooners weren't cheating. They were being Patriotic.

So, do you think Michigan still thinks it should have been in last season's national championship game?

One man's early ballot for the Heisman: 1. Darren McFadden, Arkansas; 2. Tim Tebow, Florida; 3. Matt Ryan, Boston College.

One man's early ballot for the Butkus: 1. Dan Connor, Penn State; 2. Ali Highsmith, LSU; 3. That fighting Duck, Oregon.

Best college football joke of the fall: What kind of battery does it take to shock a Wolverine? One double A

Best college football joke of all time: What does the "N" on the side of the Nebraska helmet stand for? Knowledge

One more bad quarter by Drew Weatherford, and FSU fans are going to call for Xavier Lee. Two more, and they're going to call for E.J. Manuel, the high school hotshot who has committed to the Seminoles.

Kentucky won a double-header Saturday. Not only did the Wildcats beat Louisville, but afterward, everyone looked around, and Tubby Smith was still gone.

Give credit to Penn State for scheduling such soft touches: It opened the season with FIU, Notre Dame, Buffalo and Michigan. That could only be less impressive if the Nittany Lions then followed with Auburn, Tennessee and Minnesota

Or, if Penn State really wanted it easy, it could play Oklahoma's schedule.

Let's see: Losing to Mississippi State got Ron Zook fired at Florida. Losing to Mississippi State got Mike Shula fired at Alabama. In other words, Auburn's Tommy Tuberville should not buy green bananas.

It isn't that Duke finally won that surprises you. It's that Duke still plays football.

Everything in the Big Ten isn't terrible. For instance, it has now been 254 days since a Florida player sacked an Ohio State quarterback.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait until Nov. 10 when Iowa (which just lost to Iowa State) plays Minnesota (which just lost to Florida Atlantic) for Floyd the Bronze Pig. This just in from Floyd: That's too much slop for him to consider.

In Alabama, do fans debate whether Nick Saban is winning with Mike Shula's players?

Here's a question: If Notre Dame goes 0-11 and doesn't score a touchdown, where do you think its bowl bid will be?

I don't care what you say. In a 40-yard dash, Bobby Bowden still takes Joe Paterno.

Wow. If Sam Bradford plays any better for Oklahoma, can you imagine the summer jobs he can get in Norman?

As it now stands, the release date for the Meyer-to-the-Browns rumor is Halloween, the Meyer-to-the-Giants is Thanksgiving and the Meyer-to-the-Jaguars is Christmas. Of course, those rumors will be started by fans of Georgia, Tennessee and, well, the Jags.

I love that Russell Crowe supports Lloyd Carr. It's nice to see Maximus hanging around with Coach Minumus.

Weis says he is embarrassed. Gee. I wonder how the Chancellor in Charge of 10-Year Contracts feels?

Quote:

---

Wow. If Sam Bradford plays any better for Oklahoma, can you imagine the summer jobs he can get in Norman?

---

LOL..... that cruel...but deserving

Good stuff.

I really enjoyed these:

Quote:

---

Notre Dame owes Tyrone Willingham an apology. And while they're at it, maybe Gerry Faust, too.

For those of you thinking that Weis needs more time, consider this: He's been on the job as long as Urban Meyer.

---

I remember one of the noted ND fans on here telling me how last year was going to be the down year, but this year they were stacked and ND would be back at the top.

Maybe Weiss wasn't the best hire in the world.

Quote:

---

but this year they were stacked and ND would be back at the top.

---

They seem to be at the top of this list.

Quote:

---

Remember that clunker you drove in college? Turns out, it wasn't a lemon. It was a Lloyd car.

Best college football joke of the fall: What kind of battery does it take to shock a Wolverine? One double A

---