DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... The LIfe of Arch

I hesitate to even post this because of a few jerks on here.

Some of you may remember me talking about my brother and sister in law have "custody" of 2 young children they've been with for literally 9 years. They've been custodians, for lack of a better term, for 4 + years. They were going to adopt them. The mother gave up custody. (and she gave up custody of her other 3 kids. Great mom, eh?) The "father", of only 1 of them, has seen his kids exactly 1 time in the last 9 years. He always says he wants to, but he can't ever make the trip from Chicago to Indiana. He needs money and has asked my bro and sis in law to give him some. They haven't. The dude, who isn't even the father of the one, asked my bro in law "how much does the state pay you to take care of them?" Bro said "Not a penny." Dude is after money.

So, about 3 1/2 weeks ago, a court appearance was set up for bro and and sis in law. Their attorney was certain they would get legal custody/adoption of the kids.

But, the dad to the oldest one showed up in court. He has no job, no income other than welfare, and doesn't even know his kid (not kids). He's fighting it. He feels he may get some money.

SOS. It will all work out for my bro and sis in law, as well as my niece and nephew. It's just going to take more money. Heck, the daughter has only seen her dad once, the "son" doesn't know the guy. The mom gave up custody of all 5 of her kids - from 5 different fathers..........and I use "father" lightly.

Me. Brand new work vehicle, and machine. Sets me back 6 figures.

And, a wedding soon, for Sooga. She and son in law to be just 6 weeks ago or so, bought a house. I've been busy doing what I can to help them out. Much more work to do. Seems like all I do is write checks, and do work for them. I'm glad I can, don't get me wrong.

Feel terrible for my "going to be" niece and nephew, scared about the expenditures for work, and my feelings about the wedding are all over the board, depending which day, and which time of day.

In tough times like this which we all encounter, and some much worse.

If faith and prayers don't help.

Got to be thankful for legalization !

Hope things work out for you and all involved !

I’m curious; who are the “few jerks on here”?
Regardless, good luck to you, your daughter and your future ex-son-in-law. More than 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce, as you probably know.

Oh wait, I might be one of those few.

All kidding aside, you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to do all the heavy lifting, the worrying. Ask someone else to lend a shoulder.

Sorry to learn of this. Always hard situations for everyone involved. You may not solve issues and fix everything. But you can stand with family, bring your faith along, help kids. And confront and contend to fix problems, not blame. Prayer helps. Pulling for you and yours you love.

The situation with those children is horrible! Hopefully the judge in this case will see through the curtains and common sense will prevail. I wish them nothing but the best. It's actually a shame they have to continue their fight in court at all considering all the information you provided.

My daughter is much older than Sooga but watching them start out in life is a rough time for parents. Now more than ever with the state of the world we live in. Doing what you can to help is only natural. At least for any normal and good parent. It's a trying time and always causes a certain amount of stress and worry.

Just have faith that as with anything else, these things too will pass. I wish you the best.

Trust me, money isn't a problem for them. It's just the hassle of it all.

I pray that everything works out for the best for all involved.

Hang in there, arch. I used to do Guardian ad Litem stuff way back in the day. I had to stop after a while for multiple reasons, but it was so awful watching how it could really mess up the kids, especially when an absentee, disinterested parent (often with a record) entered the fray and threw everything into chaos.

Congratulations to your daughter!

You have my prayers.

Well I was guilty of humping his leg at a tailgate party

What a crock. If the deadbeat is claiming parenthood and your bro and SIL aren't legal guardians.......why don't they threaten to go after him for past child support of "his" child? That should shut the loser up.

Bigger thing to worry about. My bro and sis in law will get the adoption done, it will just take more time. No biggy.

No, the BIGGER thing is, the ring bearer for the wedding? We found out just over 2 weeks ago, his mom, our cousin, has breast cancer, at age 38. Her twin sister was diagnosed about 2 months ago with breast cancer. Their mother, which we don't know, was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 40.

Obviously, with great regrets, our cousin said she and her husband, and the ring bearer, would not be able to make it to Sooga's wedding. As ALL of us said, "that is no problem. Take care of yourself. "

She had a double mastectomy done a week ago. And today, found it they didn't get it all, so she's awaiting another surgery.

It won't mess up the wedding. Our thoughts and concerns and prayers are with our cousin. She, and her husband and son, are going through what I can only imagine is a living hell right now.

Prayers to you and your family for strength Arch. God bless. Your family is doing good in this world.

Sorry to hear the news arch. Cancer is one of the toughest things a family can go through. I wish them all the best.

Just saw the post Arch - nothing but good and positive karma being sent your way. As Lamp said - you don't have to shoulder that burden by yourself, hoping talking to others and posting here at least does a little good.

Arch, you don't walk alone. Didn't yesterday and you won't tomorrow. Prayers for all.

Married. A beautiful day. A beautiful wedding. And, being an emotional guy, I didn't shed a tear. I think I surprised AND disappointed my daughter, wife, son, and son in law. They seem to get a kick out of watching me cry.

Breathing technique. It does wonders.

And I've seen many beautiful brides, and I know I'm biased, but my/our daughter ranks right up at the top of the list. If I posted pictures, which I never will, I think most of you would agree. Newest son in law, who shows no emotions, was crying as we walked down the aisle. I was told, as I was focused on the altar - I didn't look at anyone. As the bridesmaids were walking down the wedding coordinator asked if I wanted to go stand by Sooga. (she was just down the hall, so no one could see her as the maids entered) I said "no", but I did go.

I did, however, lose it for a few seconds during the father daughter dance. I recovered quickly.

And my OTHER son in law sang for Sooga and J's first dance. Taped/canned music, but live vocals - him. He crushed it. I know his nerves were unbelievable.

Long day, and a long night cleaning up. I was up for 19 hours. Then Sunday morning, out to eat (my family is all over the u.s.), then opening cards, then back to the hall to remove what we didn't get out the night before.

It went great, as we all knew it would. My niece and nephew (that aren't quite "adopted" yet) did great. And it was good talking to Sooga's brides maids and hearing the stories they had about her - how they became friends, how Sooga stood with them, etc.

Awesome day.

Sorry to hear about your cousin having cancer. She is in my prayers. As to your daughter getting married..Congratulations! I can only assume it was an emotional day for you since my kids don't seem to want to get married. Anyway, I always enjoy hearing all the stories of your daughter and son.